Now last week I gave you an exercise to do re becoming aware of the worry you put yourself under when you focus on what others think about you. You would not be normal if this did not cross your mind from time to time, we can all experience it, however when it comes to the point of where it really has a negative impact on your life and stops you from doing things, then it is time to change! A lot of the time the thinking patterns of “what will others think” can be something you have experienced from a very young age. Many people live their lives in a shallow un-meaningful way by working really hard to ‘keep up appearances’. What you need to understand is very simple, if you are not being true to yourself it puts immense stress, pressure, tension, strain on your mind and body and leads you into ill health. It restricts and undermines every part of your life. The good news is it does not have to be this way. Being true to yourself, looking after yourself, taking good care of yourself and living a real life are all possible.
Here are a few ways to begin increasing your self-image and being true to yourself. Become aware of how you speak to yourself, what do you say to yourself when you look yourself in the mirror? Start liking you for exactly who you are, as when you like yourself others will like you too and the fearful thoughts of what they think of you will slowly but surely subside. You need to start saying ‘yes I can, I can do exactly as I want, one step at a time. Start off with something small like I am happy with my smile, I like my smile, I like the way I give to others, I like the way I care for others, etc.
Your character is shaped by the people around you, your past conditioning etc., but you can always change that when you are aware that you can and that you need to. You can start reshaping your character today by changing your attitude towards yourself and others; you can reshape your character by making new choices and taking action, be proud of yourself when you take those actions. Praise yourself, if you are always looking for validation, affirmation, encouragement and so on from others you will be disappointed. When this happens the vicious circle continues and you beat yourself up all over again.