The All or Nothing Approach….The number 1 mistake people make when looking to improve their health, their wellness or lifestyle habits, behaviours or routines…
If you are nodding in agreement or if this sounds familiar to you, then stay tuned and continue reading…
The nuts and bolts of the ALL OR NOTHING approach is that it does not work!!!!!! It may work once or if you are lucky twice ( through shear will power and pushing yourself to extremes) but if this is a pattern you have running you will find yourself frustrated and feel like you are stuck and or going nowhere.
What exactly is it…it means you have a mindset/Conditioning whereby you feel you have got to get it all right, everything has to be perfect, everything must work out as planned, its all gung ho or nothing at all… and so on.
This approach just doesn’t work because it is extreme…it results in you
Feeling disappointed..yet again
Feeling like a failure,
Feeling you are not good enough
Feeling burned out because you have pushed yourself so hard and for what? ( I have learned there is an easier way to do everything!!! You achieve even more and with far less negative impact upon your health and sanity )
Feeling fed up, apathetic, dejected, scornful,
Feeling like a victim ( why me? poor me) etc
It is driven by you for some reason or another, usually some childhood conditioning where you felt you had to be strong or appear to have it all together or you must succeed at everything you do at all costs or the results have to be perfect or they are not worth going after in the first place… and so on..
What is your reason for having the All or nothing approach?
The All or Nothing Approach is…
Very unrealistic ( High expectations which result in disappointment)
Very impractical ( not taking into account your day to day living and unexpected happenings)
a very hard difficult exhausting approach
If you don’t succeed…you beat yourself up, feel a failure or not good enough and just give it all up!!! so NOTHING LONG TERM FOR YOUR BENEFIT IS ACHIEVED…Then you abandon ship for god knows how long and then you get frustrated again so you psyche yourself up and give it another go….all guns blazing and yes you got it….the same thing happens again.
There is black and white…but there is also the mid range of these colours and that’s grey…and then there are a multitude of many other vibrant colours too….There is always grey matter. You just have to allow yourself to be there for a while!
so as the saying goes, “there is more than one way” Isn’t it time you looked at doing things with a different way or with a different approach?
If this is what has been happening for you it is a suggestion now to just stop it. Why be so hard on yourself?
Is punishing yourself actually achieving anything?
For most people it is just another form of self-sabotage…once you are sabotaging yourself you will never get to where it is you want to go or achieve whatever it is you want to achieve…. It is a bit like blowing up a balloon and then sticking a pin in it but you just keep blowing harder and harder to keep the balloon full….Its an impossible task, one you will fail at bu because you stuck the pin in it and sabotaged yourself you can turn around and say you couldn’t do it ,or it didn’t work or something like that…
How is that negative pattern serving you? is it giving you attention, does it protect you from getting out there and succeeding and been seen? The clearer you get about your reasons why, the easier it will be to make long term changes…
What can you do instead?…
Stand up with your feet firmly on the ground and get in touch with the All or nothing mindset or approach and how it makes you feel…
Where do you feel it in your body…is it good or bad?
If you want to let it go …you can…but first thank it deeply for all it has done for you to date, this habit was created for a reason but it may no longer be serving you…
Imagine then you are letting that feeling/sensation in your body just go, let it fall out of your body and then focus on the feeling/image of what it is you want to achieve or be e.g content, at peace, calm, confident, focused, organised, fitter, slimmer etc
Then take a small step forward, then another and then another and own this new way of being. Moving forward the best you can, and very similar to last week of where we looked at comfort v’s the life you desire… when the day turns sour or things do not work out the way you thought they would…scratch it off and start afresh…but the thing is about starting afresh you are not back starting at the beginning again where you feel you are if you have the all or nothing approach…
I hope this new way of thinking and this new attitude helps you to create more balance, harmony and joy in your every day life…. I have seen it work for so many of my clients so there is no reason it wont work for you unless you do not want it to…
With a balanced approach to your life you will find it easier, you will make more balanced dietary choices more often, you will see that doing 10 minutes of exercise is much better than nothing even though it was not the 40 minutes you had planned…all the wins adds up! Your mood, your energy, your sleep pattern…everything will improve as it’s all about PROGRESS….and progress is about taking a step in the RIGHT DIRECTION and being persistent. So it is never a waste or not a “good enough” of a step…
It is progress,
Affirmations which may help…
Every day and in every way I am moving forward
I truly am grounded
Being in balance feels so good
Being in balance is easy
I truly am focused
My life blossoming programme teaches you numerous simple effective ways to create more balance and true self-care in your life.