Are you feeling lonely?

Loneliness is something it seems like every second person feels at some point or another in their lives. It is not something which is spoken about widely.  You never actually hear people admit “I’m so lonely” but it is a very common problem.

So, why you may ask would anyone feel lonely in this busy world with telecommunications worldwide and cars, computers etc. and overall people have so many material things in their lives now and society is very different from what it was years ago? Well it is because it is not what surrounds us externally which makes us happy it is what we feel on the inside which creates inner peace, contentment and happiness.

The dictionary will define loneliness as “being without company”; this is not necessarily true for many cases. When you are lonely on the inside you could be in a room of a 1000 people and still feel like you are on the outside looking in.

When I work with people they describe loneliness as feelings of emptiness, feelings of isolation, feelings of darkness, feelings of disconnection, feelings of being co-dependent, feelings of neediness, feelings of unworthiness, feelings of being misunderstood, feelings of being unloved, feelings of being disliked…there are certainly times in our lives when we can all feel temporally out of sorts, sad, lonely and lonesome. However if you are feeling like this a lot of the time it can really affect how you live your life.

Many people tend to withdraw even further away from work colleagues, friends, family and society when they feel lonely. Their confidence then slides which makes it even harder to get back into relationships and friendships and the social aspect of life which we all need for a healthy balanced life.

When I work with people more often than not their loneliness stems right back to when they were younger. They may have felt they did not fit into their family, they may have been the quieter, shyer child or sibling, they may have felt they did not fit into school, or college. Growing up with a poor self-image, or growing up with lack of encouragement or praise, or growing up always being compared to others are typical of making a person feel lonely. It makes my heart sing when people can say they to me that loneliness, emptiness and sadness are no longer within them. Today, to rebuild your inner peace and joy, start by recognising what it is you like, what makes you feel relaxed and at one with yourself, painting, reading, praying, being in nature, dancing? Start doing it and it will make a difference.